Chris Collision of the I Don't Even Own A Television podcast is joining us for the misbegotten Wilder Napalm, the early Vince Gilligan joint that would have made a much better X-Files episode than it did a feature film. Arli$$ jokes, aggressive quirk, a Van Helsing comparison somehow, beefcake snarling at each other, Manic Pixie Dream Winger, and a lead who should have failed out of clown college all add up to a very nineties pyrokinetic love triangle with no figurative fireworks. Close up the Quik Foto; it's an all-new Quaid In Full.
Overall score: 4
QQQ score: 3.92 (don't ask)